A Lift Ticket to Love

February 12, 2024

Don Dolla de Montagne (Nonagenarian mountain owner) - Randy Brososky
Diamond de Montagne (His wife, ski ballerina, darling of the last Olympics) - Delia Barnett
Debra Bland (His daughter, ski mom and Chet’s coach) - Stephanie Wolfe
Dennis “Rocky” Bland - (Ski dad) - Peter Brown
Dennis “Chet” Bland Jr (Ski ballet prodigy that can’t actually ski) - Joel Taras
Bethany Bland (Star of the sitcom “All in the Household”) - Kirsten Throndson
Angel Delorean (Family lawyer) - Tom Edwards
Bronc Convoy (Don’s nephew, Assistant deputy, assistant ski patrol) - Cody Porter
Dr Misty La’Croix (Entertainer in the Slalom Lounge and volunteer medic) -Lindsey Walker
Sam Ollier (Maitre’d and concierge) - Jason Hardwick
Fletch Avalanche (Actor researching ski cop for an action movie) - Vince Forcier
Nonya Byness (Foreign diplomat) - Nikki Hulowski
Poppy Johnson (Small town sweepstakes winner) - Rebecca Bissonnette
Kiehls Aveeno (Irish groomer… RUN groomer and Heli-tour operator) -Jesse Gervais
Gillian Axel (Unemployed gondola operator with a past) - Kristi Hansen

Director - Jake Tkaczyk
Original Music - Paul Morgan Donald
Technical Magic - Olivia Bogaard
Synopsis -the one and only Jim Cej
Producer - Nicole Thibault
Photos - Janna Hove

Act I

Everyone in is the lobby waiting for Don and Chet to come back to the lodge. Technically, we don’t know that anyone died. We just found a jacket, but no body. We all saw her fall. Don returns with Debra’s jacket in hand, all that’s left of her. There was an avalanche. Why weren’t there any warnings? A depressed Chet returns, dejected. My mom is dead. Angel asks if there were any trackers on her. Trackers? Bronc says that that’s pure science fiction. Don thinks that they all have to move on.

Bethany and Fletch have been locked away to rehearse for their audition. Fletch says that they should take a break to see what’s going on in the world. Bethany pouts that no one ever notices her. Sam and Misty enter their room, and Sam says that he has some news for Bethany. Misty says that Bethany can play the upset youngster now. You know how you wanted one of those jackets? There is one available now. No one wants to tell her what happened. Everyone tells her on the count of three. Fletch says that her mother can never disappoint Bethany again.

Kiehls grooms a run, when he is joined by Don Dolla. He needs Kiehls to do something for him. Kiehls offers to arrange an accident. That would be too obvious. Don wants them to live in fear for a while, and know that there is no hope. He doesn’t want them to trust anyone and not know who is responsible. Gillian eavesdrops. Kiehls asks who he wants him to go after. Chet. Dennis “Chet” Bland Jr. He’s my grandson, but he’s no grandson of mine. You should go slow to start, like Bolero. They are startled by Gillian. Do you need any help?

Angel waits for Chet in the Slalom Lounge. Chet tells Angel that he led him down a path, uphill. Angel is responsible for his mother’s death, with his scheming. We have to do it again and be more cunning. Don can really ski! He outskiied that avalanche! If we do it again, Chet says that they have to be twice as devious. Maybe we could frame Diamond, my new grandma. Gillian and Kiehls are listening.

Back in her hotel room, Bethany and everyone are reeling from the news. Sam graphically describes what must have happened to Debra. Misty asks how Bethany is coping. My mother, with whom I have a complex relationship, is somewhere freezing out in the cold, possibly dismembered by an avalanche. How do you think I feel? Dr Misty suggests that they have a funeral or a wake or a talent show to mourn her loss. Debra never watched any of Bethany’s show. She can do the one act play about her own life that she wrote and directed. We see a scene, with Fletch playing her mother. Wow, you wrote that? Sam thinks that maybe the funeral isn’t quite the right venue. Misty suggests that she shelve it for now and bring it out again for the one year anniversary. Instead, Sam and Misty will have their wedding at the funeral. Bethany thinks that her mother would have loved that. Debra loved to stick herself in other people’s business. When Fletch tried to back out, Misty suggests a double wedding funeral.

Don has a talk with Bronc. He appreciates the little arrangement that they made. Keeping his secret has been what is holding Bronc together. Don wishes he could understand what led to the events of her death. There’s no way that Debra couldn’t handle the Devil’s Arse. She could never have been be sidelined by some pile. Don wishes that there was someone that he could trust that would tell him anything. Bronc says that he wanted to tell him, but he didn’t know everything involved. His wife and lawyer have been scheming. Don suspected as much. Who would want to be with a 90 year old rich man? Bronc confesses about the woman falling out of the gondola. Bethany rushes it. Guess what? I’m getting married!

Kiehls and Gilliam sneak into a sleeping Chet’s room. Guess what? We’re kidnapping you. I’ve had this dream before, but usually it’s the woman that’s Irish. Kiehls tells Chet that they’re made for torturing. Do you have any last words? I should have snuck away when you were holding that note in their song. They commence beating him with furry pillows.

Act II

Dr Misty and Sam practice their vows in a hotel room. Misty has some notes. Can you mention love more, and do it in rhyme? He tells Misty that hers were just perfect. Sam rhymes his romantic vows, but accidentally calls her Nonya at the end. She is upset. It was set up to rhyme with Misty! Wait. Is this part of the vows? Misty mentions Bronc, angering Sam. They argue. There is a lisping phone call to Sam’s room. They ask if someone is there with him and ask to talk to whoever is there with him, but Sam accidentally hangs up the phone. Don Dolla comes in. It doesn’t look like Sam and Misty are very happy. Misty says it’s just a lover’s spat. He tells her to take her own prescription. She agrees, and goes out for a walk in the woods. When Don asks, Sam says that he knows how his love life is. Don says that it’s because he won’t own up to his past. You’ve been keeping your past from yourself, too. You could just come to terms with it. He knows what Sam used to do for a living. It’s why he hired him. If he kept him indoors, he would be fine. Now Sam owes him. He needs Sam to get his will back from Angel and make him take the fall. After that, maybe you’ll be worthy of Misty’s love and get what you want. Or maybe you’ll just screw it all up again.

Angel lounges outside, when Bronc approaches with something important to tell him. You remember how you were going to get someone to take that fall for that gondola accident? The jig is up. Explain it to me. Bronc tells Angel thatDon Dolla knows that he’s been scheming. You told him, because you “know” everything. It’s all hearsay. He has his eye on you now, Angel. He will go to Don himself and confront him. Bronc says that Angel may have his back, but he doesn’t trust you anymore. Don’s up to something. Angel says that Don’s going to have him killed. It’s all over your face, Bronc.

Back at the torture, Gilliam and Kiehls thrust their pelvises at him.

Bethany and Fletch are sitting outside. Fletch wonders if they be moving a bit too fast. But weddings are meant to be fast. But at someone else’s wedding and funeral? Fletch says that it’s not that he doesn’t want to marry her, but do you think that this is in reaction to her mother’s death. Dr Misty asks if everything is alright. Fletcher says that it’s important to speak honestly to the one that you want to marry. Dr Misty bursts into tears. She confides with Fletch. It’s a husband issue. Bethany leaves. She tells him that she doesn’t think there’s going to be a wedding. Maybe there’s someone else that she is meant to marry. Fletch is very flattered. Maybe it should just be a funeral and something else can begin. He’ll do it! He’ll have an affair with Dr Misty.

Back in there torture room, things have moved onto butt thrusts.

Angel paces and worries about what’s happening. He has to come up with some solid answer. Maybe he’ll make a run for it. Sam pops up behind the bar. He offers to make Angel a drink. He tells Angel that the wedding isn’t going to happen. Sam asks him what’s going on with him. Is everyone’s will up to order? When’s the last time that Don saw his will? About a month ago. Can I see if to see what a good will looks out? He pulls it out to show him. So no one has seen it except for you and him? Sam pulls put a gun and takes the will. I think we’re going to need a new lawyer. He throws his drink in Sam’s face and the guns goes off.

Back in the torture room, Gillian and Kiehls enjoy a smoke. Chet asks what that was all about. Actually, they don’t know. Chet says that when his grandpa is gone, he’ll be all alone. And filthy rich. Will you guys hang out with me? Kiehls says that his grandpa was the one that arranged his torture. Don says that he wanted the sword of Damocles hung over his head. He’s mad at him because they went on a nice ski and there was an avalanche. Isn’t Kiehls responsible for grooming the runs to prevent avalanches? Chet says that he can go into hiding, Gillian and Kiehls can collect their money, and they can all be friends together.

Angel has been winged by the bullet and is bleeding out in the snow. Bethany finds him and tries to help. Who did this? Sam, he went crazy. This happened once on my sitcom, but she didn’t actually help. She cries for help. Dr Misty and Fletch skip by. She reminds them that she’s just a Doctor of Music. Bronc arrives. He heard a shot. They all discuss what they should do. Bethany asks what Fletch is doing holding Dr Misty’s hand. You know that you always wanted a love triangle? Well, it’s more like a love pentagram. Angel groans and passes out.

Sam comes into Don’s room with a gun. What happened? I got your will, but I may have done a little boo boo. You know how before I never missed? Well… How many bullets are in that gun? Sam never needed more than one. The gun goes off. Sam’s right arm feels whole again. He blows off some bullets. Kiehls and Gillian come in and tell him that they did what Don has asked. Same gun goes off again. That’s 8 bullets, now. Gillian sees that her brother has his gift back again. Don clutches his chest and collapses.