These Boots are Made for Skiing!

February 26, 2024

Don Dolla de Montagne (Nonagenarian mountain owner) - Randy Brososky
Diamond de Montagne (His wife, ski ballerina, darling of the last Olympics) - Delia Barnett
Debra Bland (His daughter, ski mom and Chet’s coach) - Stephanie Wolfe
Dennis “Rocky” Bland - (Ski dad) - Peter Brown
Dennis “Chet” Bland Jr (Ski ballet prodigy that can’t actually ski) - Joel Taras
Bethany Bland (Star of the sitcom “All in the Household”) - Kirsten Throndson
Angel Delorean (Family lawyer) - Tom Edwards
Bronc Convoy (Don’s nephew, Assistant deputy, assistant ski patrol) - Cody Porter
Dr Misty La’Croix (Entertainer in the Slalom Lounge and volunteer medic) -Lindsey Walker
Sam Ollier (Maitre’d and concierge) - Jason Hardwick
Fletch Avalanche (Actor researching ski cop for an action movie) - Vince Forcier
Nonya Byness (Foreign diplomat) - Nikki Hulowski
Poppy Johnson (Small town sweepstakes winner) - Rebecca Bissonnette
Kiehls Aveeno (Irish groomer… RUN groomer and Heli-tour operator) -Jesse Gervais
Gillian Axel (Unemployed gondola operator with a past) - Kristi Hansen
Snowdine (mysterious arrival with no memory and a familiar jacket) - Ellie Heath
Georgie (Avalanche expert from Saskatchewan) - Caley Suliak

Director - Jake Tkaczyk
Original Music - Paul Morgan Donald
Technical Magic - Nichole Mann
Synopsis -the one and only Jim Cej
Producer - Nicole Thibault
Photos - Janna Hove

Act I

Gillian and Kiehls are scheming. In the conflict between members of the resort-ruling family, who should they side with? Which side will end up with the money? They decide to continue playing both sides, using their skill in Acting.

Dennis “Chet” Bland Jr meets a surprising visitor, wearing a familiar-looking jacket. She doesn’t remember who she is or where she came from, but she’s been hearing some hints in her dreams. The name Glodine. And a mustache. Maybe she heard Chet say that he killed his Grandpa? He explains that although he has a mustache, he definitely never succeeded in killing his grandpa. 

Angel Delorean, who was shot in a previous episode, is crawling to the front steps while Nonya is sitting on the steps talking about her own terrible troubles with loneliness. Surely nobody could be in a worse state than her? Finally she spots the tragic bleeding figure on the ground!

Meanwhile, in a fancy private dining room, Don Dolla de Montagne and Sam Ollier are trying to find out how Dennis “Rocky” Bland Sr is feeling now. Sam mixes cocktails. Three weeks after his wife Debra’s death, Dennis is now ready to move on. But what about the boy – Dennis’s son? Only not exactly his son – they recall that at the hospital, Don switched the babies because Glodine paid him to take the son she couldn’t raise. Sam tells them what he’s discovered about Dennis “Chet” Jr. Chet tried to kill his grandpa but missed, and instead hit his mother! Sam was there. He saw the shot, the avalanche, Debra being engulfed, and her jacket flying off. Although a whole body was never found, Kiehls used a specific rake to gather enough body parts to confirm her death – the most tragic Zen garden ever. And now Sam has a gun.

Now that Nonya has actually noticed that Angel is in distress, she is administering first aid and blood transfusions. Kiehls and Gillian arrive, and she transfuses blood from them too, in a touching “Three shall become one” moment in song. 

Bronc and Georgie, old friends from Saskatchewan, are viewing the avalanche damage and remembering Debra. From the evidence, Georgie thinks that someone must have blown it up with a charge, but to be sure she’d have to hike up the mountain again. Again? She is an avalanche expert, after all. They go to have a beer.

Dennis “Chet” Jr is still with the amnesia victim. He suggests calling her Snowdine, because she arrived out of the snow talking about Glowdine. She likes it! Her new purpose will be helping him figure out who murdered his mom.

Back in the fancy dining room, Dennis accuses Don of behaving badly to his family in the past. Don counters by pointing out that Dennis recently abandoned them all for three weeks to go to a silent meditation retreat. Don suggests forgiving an old man (himself) for not making connections. Dennis decides he needs to do his own research instead of assuming his son is guilty.

Angel is recovering after his transfusions. They ask him how he got shot, and re-enact his story. He was in the bar, drinking, thinking everything was cool, when Sam came in, pulled a gun, and shot Angel. Angel ran. Someone was there, but he couldn’t see who. Then he knew. But who sent Sam? Gillian strangles Angel to protect Sam from accusations.

Two groups have climbed up to look at the avalanche damage: Bronc and Georgie on one side, and Dennis “Chet” Jr and Snow-dine on the other side. Bronc and Georgie stop for a drink. Bronc needs help to put the clues together, but he also suspects Georgie. Chet says that the avalanche was the worst day of his life. He doesn’t see how it could have been an accident if Kiehls had been doing his job properly. Snow-dine and Chet continue up the trail, closing the gap, and Bronc and Georgie hear voices. One charge is missing from her backpack. The groups meet and Snow-dine notices that Bronc has a mustache!

ACT 2

Gillian is trying to strangle Angel, but he escapes. They all run chaotically. Nonya stabs Angel. Gillian catches the knife and she fights Angel. Gillian is also stabbed. She collapses while Angel slithers away.

As the groups investigating the avalanche meet, Snow-Dine sees Bronc’s mustache. Georgie explains that she found Snow-dine lying on the mountain on top of Debra’s coat, so she put Snow-dine into the coat to keep her warm. Georgie was up there setting off charges when Debra was killed. Georgie doesn’t have a mustache, but if she was drinking beer she could have had a Pils-stache. Did Snow see anything? Kiehls walks by and Snow-dine recognizes him! Kiehls could have killed Debra! But why? Kiehls overhears and mentions that he hated Debra. He took one of Georgie’s charges and set it off, and Debbie tumbled to her death. Bronc draws his gun while Kiehls is confessing. Dennis “Chet” Bland Jr says he will give Kiehls one chance to escape. 

As Gillian bleeds from the guts, her brother Sam comes in. Sam replaces her guts and she’s all better. They share happy childhood memories of gut scooping. Sam might need to do some killing.

Don and Nonya take the elevator to the penthouse. Nonya’s hands are covered in blood. Does Don recognize her? Thirty years ago he sent her to Germany and now the blood is on his hands, after he forced her to murder her mother. “Your son is here too”, Don reveals.

In the hotel lobby, Dennis “Chet” Jr, Dennis “Rocky” Sr, and the girl with no memory are catching up. She explains to Dennis Sr why she is wearing Debra’s coat. Dennis Sr doesn’t have a mustache either. Dennis Jr and Snowdine have been looking for who murdered Debra. Dennis Sr asks “Did you kill your mom?” and Dennis Jr explains that he did not intend to. Did he set off the charge? No, he didn’t. It was the tall handsome dreamy Irish Ken-doll with the huge arms – Kiehls! Dennis “Rocky” Sr explains that Glodine is a name from his past. She was an idea, a graceful skier who invented ski ballet. She had a baby boy she couldn’t care for, so she gave him to reliable friends and the story goes that she went on to take up rodeo, then became a luge champion, before vanishing forever. But what happened to the baby? asks Snowdine.

Gillian and Sam encounter Georgie and Bronc. Bronc is looking for Kiehls. They spot him and run off. 

At the gondola station, Bronc and Georgie plan to take down the gondola and do a pincer-action to trap Kiehls. Kiehls and Dennis “Rocky” Sr appear at the gondola door and get in the same car. Dennis recognizes Kiehls from the description. Kiehls says Don put him up to it. Georgie and Bronc climb the gondola cable and overhear as Kiehls confesses. Dennis finds the secret hatch in the gondola car and Kiehls tumbles out, falling to his death sharing a few poignant last moments. “Goodbye to Kiehls, he gave you all the feels”.

In Don’s office, Gillian says it is now done. Don has one last assignment for her. He’s rewritten his will and needs her to witness that he’s now giving everything to one person … Gillian signs. Don tells her to keep the will safe. Gillian toasts Don, and stabs him in the guts. Nonya watches from the doorway as Don dies.