I’m with Sitting, Not With Standing
Residents of Eden’s Hollow
Moishe Lovestonosh – A fishmonger. (Joel Taras)
Rufus Kahn – A fisherman. (Tom Edwards)
Zebulon Nebuchadnezzar – A shepherd. (Chris Bullough)
Benjamin Barnabas – A baker. (Michael Watt)
Sam Ael – A fallen angel. (Randy Brososky)
Chad Luke – Jesus’ #1 Fan. (Kristi Hansen)
Sharron – Manager of Herod’s department store. (Caley Suliak)
John – One of The Little Guitar Boys. (Jason Hardwick)
Salomé – Deli owner. (Stephanie Wolfe)
Myrrh Incense – Town scribe. (Kirsten Throndson)
with Special Guests:
Ebenezer and Rivka - Inventors and Idol Salesfolk (Matt Baram and Naomi Snieckus)
GOD (our Director) - Jake Tkaczyk
Musical Messiah - Paul Morgan Donald
Producer - Nicole Thibault
Technical Magic - Olivia Bogaard
The Original Writer Downer of Things - Jim Cej
Act I
The townspeople are chanting “Burn the Witch”, and Sharron changes back from a sheep to a person. They all bow to her, but Sam has something to say about all this. They’re all worshipping a false idol! What happened to your love for Jesus, Chad? He has room for both of them in his heart. He loves all his sheep and thinks that Sam should find the missing 14 sheep. He calls in the missing sheep. If he is a leader of sheep, he must be a leader of men!
Paul and John work on a song together, but it’s not the same without a drummer. He’s been gone 4 years, 8 days a week. John thinks maybe they can’t do it without him. John suggest that they audition someone. That’s a good idea. Without a drummer, we’re like sheep without a shepherd. What if we find someone, and we’re still not very good? Maybe it’s us. Paul begs to differ, he’s perfect at everything. He sings We’ll Get By With a Tiny Morsel of Assistance From My Pals. What was John thinking. We’re great!
Rufus delivers an enormous fish to Moishe. What kind of creature is this? It has a hammer head and a sword. Moishe is going to monger the hell out of this. Moishe thinks that he’ll create a thing called a bank. I’ll hold people’s money. They’ll think it’s theirs, but it’s mine. They can take it back, but I’ll keep a small portion of it. How can he figure out a way to keep fish in the desert? Rufus suggests salt. Get a lot of fucking salt, so much that people will wonder why you need so much.
Chad is tending to the returned sheep, when there is a knock at the door. Rivka! I haven’t seen you in ages! Ebenezer is parking the camel. So, you brought him with you. Yeah, we have a contract. It’s called a marriage. Chad can’t have people not with him. When Ebenezer enters and sees Rivka and Chad together, he flies into a jealous rage.
John and Paul play outside Herod’s. Sharron overhears and welcomes them into the store. We sell everything at Herod’s. Their song was quite catchy. She wants to have them sing about her products. Like an octopus?
Rufus goes to Sam Ale. He manifested the sheep, maybe he can help with the salt. He needs some to preserve some fish. Maybe you have some connections. I do, but I’ve tried to resign from that job. Maybe for a percentage of the profits? How about I help you, and then you help me, for as long as I think is necessary. Okay! Rufus asks if he knows about the boy child they’re calling the King of the Jews. If you want more information, find someone to will to pay the price. What an excellent deal!
Rivka separates Chad from Ebenezer. She says there is nothing between them. Chas says “Nothing?” “And everything.” She tells her husband that she was with Chad before him. You weren’t a virgin? That depends what you call a virgin. He says that ha seen that her belly is growing. Rivka blames gluten. Chad says that Rivka wants Ebenezer, so he will step aside. But what about the baby? Maybe it was immaculate conception. That hasn’t been invented yet.
Sharron is taken with their 14 minute jingle. They can play and provide a distraction while she takes what she wants from her customers. This is the break that they’ve been looking for! John asks what kind of terms is she talking about? John and Sharron are attracted to each other. Sharron suggests they step aside and discuss the terms. They leave and Paul thinks they’re going to have sex.
Myrrh weeps for her lost journal. Rufus runs past, but comes back to ask what is wrong. She has been without her journal for the past 7 or 8 business days. Rufus can get people together to search for it. She doesn’t need other people, just him. He is being so kind to her. Can you do something to me in return? People say that they can help, but then they’re notwithstanding. Rufus will be her friend. They embrace. Paul sees them. In spite of all that has gone on between them, he’s a little jealous. She looks sad. Have you seen my book? No… He has good and bad news for her. The bad news is that he doesn’t know where her book is, but the good news is that he had found it. You are going to find my book again! He will make it up to her somehow. That’s not good enough for Myrrh. He can take her on a date and love her forever. How will I know that you won’t cheat on me again. He’ll quit the band for her.
Act II
Rivka says that what she had with Chad meant nothing to her. And everything to her. She loves them both. Ebenezer says that she can’t have both. She made her choice and now he will make his. He must go. Chad says that she loves Ebenezer. He leaves her. Take care of her and the baby.
Paul and Rufus collide while searching for the lost book. Rufus had his arms around Myrrh Incense! She was crying! What did you do to make her cry? They are both looking for her book. Myrrh is Paul’s betrothed. They both defend their right to find and return her book. Rufus says that If he finds it, he’ll give to Paul to give to her. If Paul finds it, he’ll give it to himself to give to her. They shake on it.
Sam visit Sharron at Herod’s. They both always turn up where the other one is. Someone is messing with them. He has something of value to sell to her. She’s interested. He may be able to give some souls. If he is retired he doesn’t have to turn them in upstairs. Or downstairs. Moishe has some salt to sell. He had men go to the city to get some and now I have some to sell. He needs shekels. He will give Sharron salt for cold hard cash, but cold may be difficult in the desert. Sam pulls Sharron aside. Here’s a soul that won’t be missed. She pulls the soul out of Moishe’s body.
Ebenezer is in a huff when he passes Myrrh’s house. Can she help him? No. The last thing I need is comfort from a woman. He’s been disappointed. Wow. Me too. They share a drink. Ebenezer thought that he met his person. They met at a dance. It was arranged by God. But sometimes even God makes mistakes. God has disappointed Myrrh on every level. Myrrh has been airing her grievances to everyone, but no one is really listening. Can you repeat that? He says that it’s not a gender thing. He’s seen some nasty ladies. She asks what he’s staring at. Not you. Not the nape of your neck…
John and Paul meet in the middle of the road. John has a few grievances to share. Paul has some stories to tell, too. On the count of three, we can say what’s bothering them. Paul can start with the small things and John will start with the big things. Paul is thinking of leaving the band. John is thinking of pushing out. Sharron can play the cymbals, and I bet she has a good voice. If you had sex and didn’t hear her voice, that doesn’t bode well. Paul asks about Myrrh’s book. Everyone has a book. John wonders if it has some good lyrics in it. What if John finds the book first?
The soulless Moishe runs in to Rufus in the street. He tells him that he is looking for the salt. And a book. Moishe feels lost. All he can think of is running his bank. Rufus asks where Moishe found his own salt. He wants his fish back. It’s buried in his secret place. With the money and the book too. He tells Rufus to follow him and he’ll lead him to the place.
Ebenezer and Myrrh talk about all the things that they are not looking at. He doesn’t want to fall in love. She has been burned by love. If you like, he can commit the sin of Onan for her. He likes her. She wants whatever is wrong with him. He needs someone to show him the way. They can look for it together. Right after he goes and takes care of something.
Chad thinks it is amazing! Ebenezer left Rivka, and now they can be together! She will collect Chad’s tears, remove the water and use the salt to preserve fish. The baby inside of Rivka gives Chad a high five. No one loves Chad. She will give him the baby. It will take some time, and she will return and give him the baby.
Paul and John separate their things, and use the opportunity to insult each other. This is not how John wanted things to end, with a woman splitting them up. Sharron has the voice of an angel running into a window. Paul wonders why they can’t separate as men and brothers, and put the insults aside. They will always be brothers. It was always going to be the two of them. It doesn’t matter. If they stuck together, they could be bigger than that 4 year old. They reconcile. They are going to reconcile, find the book, and write the best damn album anyone has ever heard.
Moishe is near the resting place with the money, book, and fish. He pulls Rufus along with him.
Rivka relaxes and Sam airs his grievances with her. It’s like he’s speaking her language. The baby kicks in response to Sam’s voice. He has some bad news. The baby isn’t human! Some good news. When an angel and a human, they create something really special, but it claws its way out.
Ebenezer returns after doing his business. He was thinking of this woman that he sees sometimes first, but that doesn’t always work. Then I thought about this dude. But thinking about her did the trick. Paul has something to tell Myrrh. Ebenezer says not again! Paul has some goods and bad news. He will find her book the book with his brother. You’re always with your brother. Well, that’s the second part. He starts to go, but Ebenezer stops him. They will fight to the death! Myrrh is excited! They punch each other’s hand. Ebenezer collapses. I’m… finished.
Moishe shows Rufus the deep trench that goes all the way to God. He sends Rufus to God. Killing Rufus makes Moishe feel better, but it is fleeting. He needs to kill again.
Rivka is in labour. It won’t be long now. Chad enters. That’s my baby! So, you’re not from around here either! Chad collects the baby and the spirit of Ebenezer passes by. At least I got to finish. Chad lifts the baby. This will be the son of Chad!
All Photos by Janna Hove
