Baby Got Book
Residents of Eden’s Hollow
Moishe Lovestonosh – A fishmonger. (Joel Taras)
Rufus Kahn – A fisherman. (Tom Edwards)
Zebulon Nebuchadnezzar – A shepherd. (Chris Bullough)
Benjamin Barnabas – A baker. (Michael Watt)
Sam Ael – A fallen angel. (Randy Brososky)
Chad Luke – Jesus’ #1 Fan. (Kristi Hansen)
Sharron – Manager of Herod’s department store. (Caley Suliak)
John – One of The Little Guitar Boys. (Jason Hardwick)
Salomé – Deli owner. (Stephanie Wolfe)
Myrrh Incense – Town scribe. (Kirsten Throndson)
Leonidasidas Flavious Flavous Maximus - representative of the Roman Empire (Cody Porter)
with Special Guest:
Jerome - Leonidasidas’ son, a poet (Ron Pederson)
GOD (our Director) - Jake Tkaczyk
Musical Messiah - Paul Morgan Donald
Producer - Nicole Thibault
Technical Magic - Olivia Bogaard
The Original Writer Downer of Things - Jim Cej
Act I
John and Myrrh argue about her book. How did John know what was in her book? Rufus said everything! How were they to know it was the same as what is in your book? She begs him to keep it a secret, especially the stuff about her dad. Mortimer overhears. What does it say? He has to be nice to both Myrrh and her father! Mortimer threatens to bring about agony to John’s crotch region. Myrrh says that John is allowed to read what is in her journal because she loves him.
Sam looks after Baby Luke and tries to teach him to be moral. Chad, the baby’s father thanks him for looking after the baby. Sam explains to the baby that technically Chad is his father. The baby gets slightly nauseous. Sam tells Chad that the baby is half demon. Chad winds up to hit the baby, when Zen rushes in to stop him.
Leonidas and Jerome unpack at their new house in Eden’s Hollow. Jerome brings in a plant and quickly discovers that he is allergic. Jerome tells his dad that maybe the new place will help him to forget that his mother left them. Leonidas wants to make a good impression on the people in town. Jerome will try to make friends, go to school, and leave the house. If not, there will be a tickling. Leonidas thinks that perhaps his son can teach him to fit in. First, you should take the day off. You don’t know what you’re missing. He dances, and his father joins in. Well, that takes the edge off.
Angel Baby has trouble reconciling sending Sam down to earth as a baby. When Angel Baby makes the choir sing, Paul wonders where the music is coming from. He asks if Angel Baby communes with God, Yes, lots of times. But she finds the world isn’t fun. Paul tells her that most people are miserable and don’t even know if. He is the most miserable of all. Paul sings for Angel Baby. I turn, she teaches him to dance.
Rufus was successful showing John who he really is. What will happen if he tries with Moishe? He’s a little hungover. 4 isn’t a good year. If Moishe drinks enough, a voice tells him things to do. Lately, it’s been telling him to build a big boat. Where does he get the money to do it? Moishe runs the bank. Rufus wonders if he is satisfied with the status quo. Maybe Rufus can help his find a special baby. Rufus takes off his wig to a shocked Moishe.
Zeb and Chad are afraid of Baby Chad. The baby takes over Zeb’s body. Chad used to do that kind of stuff when he was a kid. HE IS MY SON!
Mortimer has never been so disappointed in Myrrh. She infatuated with John. He’s nice to me when no one else is around. That’s a red flag. But he’s a musician too! That’s not as good a thing as you think. Are you really happy with John, or do you think you can’t do better? She’ll never leave John! John knows about her mother. This may be a problem. Mortimer will ask the voice. She writes that her father is being emotionally distant.
Angel Baby and Paul dance through town and run into John. He’s surprised that Paul found someone else so quickly. Angel Baby suggests that they stay together. They tried that and it didn’t work. Paul suggests a sing off. Angel Baby tells John that Paul wrote a sad song that made her cry. If John wins, he will get his brother’s guitar. If Paul wins, John must leave town. Paul says fine, and leaves. Paul cries out after him that he was going to lose on purpose.
Rufus meets Leonidas and Jerome. He has loved frolicking with his son in private, but he must be rock hard in public. Jerome introduces themselves to Rufus, and shares a poem with him to read. Leonidas is not impressed with this side of his son and destroys the poem. In a rage, Jerome takes his father’s dagger, stabs Rufus, and escapes.
Act II
Angel Baby tends to a mortally wounded Rufus, but God refuses to let her heal him. Mortimer offers to intercede, but God just infests Rufus’s crotch instead. Angel Baby must find Sam. He will help! God concede to Mortimer and heals Rufus. He wants to thank whatever helps him. What do I call you? Mortimer just calls him the Voice.
Paul looks for John, but he goes to Myrrh’s house. John just stays there a lot. Myrrh asks if Paul is a musician. Myrrh writes about Paul in her book. Will he play her a song? He does. She says that it’s great, but can I give you some notes? She improves his lyrics by being more specific. Paul feels guilty about taking her lyrics. Don’t, John does it all the time.
Chad spends some time with his son. He tells him about his mother. Baby Chad likes Chad, but he likes Sam better. They’re different. Baby Chad wants to be good, but he has these URGES. So does his dad. How do you keep ther away? I follow Jesus. Maybe you could too! Maybe you both can change the world! Zeb has been listening to them.
Jerome and Leonidas escape the crime scene. Jerome is worried that he’ll be fired by the Centurion Society. What he did was wrong, but… John wonders what they’re talking about. Are you new here? Yes, we’re from Rome, and you’ll find that Leonidas carries some authority. Jerome wants to run away. He suggests that he go away with John. I have this brochure for Sodom! Leonidas gives him a tiny shield for his birthday. John needs a friend and a girlfriend. Jerome can be both those things for him!
Moishe and Zeb offer to help Brother Mortimer to build his monastery. It will be a stairway to… somewhere. Zeb is the only one who has not heard the Voice! He listens, but the Voice doesn’t speak. He’s like that sometime. After they build the monastery, Moishe asks him to help gather some animals.
Paul goes over Myrrh’s lyric improvements that she suggested to his brother. Maybe one day, Paul will let her perform with him. Paul says that he will talk to her father to see if he will let them marry. Dad doesn’t like musicians.
Angel Baby looks for Sam. He’s been busy babysitting. Can you help with the person that is bleeding out. First, you have to do right by me for what you did to me. I want you to know how much it hurt. He’s not a fan of the Voice. Angel Baby has plans to turn this back into Eden. This is all about what Angel Baby wants. What about what Sam wants?
The lawyers for Die-Nasty apologise for their joke about members of the clergy and itchy crotches.
Leonidas and the miraculously healed Rufus Kahn reconnect and discuss what’s been going on. Rufus should have died, but the Jewish God saved his life. You’ve come across evidence of monotheism?!? Take me to those who are practicing monotheism., and Leonidas will have his vengeance!
John and Jerome are on the road to Sodom, when they cross paths with Paul and Myrrh. Myrrh has to talk with Paul. She had to find out from his brother that he broke up with her and has been stealing her lyrics? John confesses that he’s not talented. Jerome feels that John will find himself in Sodom. They will write their own lyrics together.
Chad meet his brother Zeb, looking over his sheep. He can’t help Zeb, he has a child to look after. Chad is leaving him, like everyone else! Chad has a heart attack.
Brother Mortimer find Myrrh with a new musician. Myrrh says that this one really loves her. Does he steal her lyrics too? He only takes what is given to him. He will give him her hand if he can sing a song of love that will convince Mortimer that his love for Myrrh. Myrrh, sings about All My Loving through Paul. He has his blessing. What is your name? PAUL! My name is PAUL. There is catch though. He must officiate their wedding. He performs a brief confusing ceremony.
Baby Chad finds his father collapsed in the field. What did Zeb do to you? Nothing! I just loved him too much. Baby Chad learns that love is bad. Baby Chad takes back Zeb’s arm and gives him itchy crotch. Chad Reeves and asks what happened? Chad must learn to discipline his child!
All Photos by Janna Hove
