There’s No Business like Snow Business

January 22, 2024

Don Dolla de Montagne (Nonagenarian mountain owner) - Randy Brososky
Diamond de Montagne (His wife, ski ballerina, darling of the last Olympics) - Delia Barnett
Debra Bland (His daughter, ski mom and Chet’s coach) - Stephanie Wolfe
Dennis “Rocky” Bland - (Ski dad) - Peter Brown
Dennis “Chet” Bland Jr (Ski ballet prodigy that can’t actually ski) - Joel Taras
Bethany Bland (Star of the sitcom “All in the Household”) - Kirsten Throndson
Angel Delorean (Family lawyer) - Tom Edwards
Bronc Convoy (Don’s nephew, Assistant deputy, assistant ski patrol) - Cody Porter
Dr Misty La’Croix (Entertainer in the Slalom Lounge and volunteer medic) -Lindsey Walker
Sam Ollier (Maitre’d and concierge) - Jason Hardwick

Director - Jake Tkaczyk
Original Music - Paul Morgan Donald
Technical Magic - Nichole Man
Synopsis -the one and only Jim Cej
Producer - Nicole Thibault
Photos - Janna Hove

Act I

In the lobby of the chalet, Don and Diamond prepare for the arrival of his family. Too bad it’s all going to go to shit when they get there. Diamond thought that she’d never have children. Don warns her that Debra’s not too pleased to have her as a mommy. Well, she’ll change her mind. Don wants them to love Diamond. The Blands arrive in a cloud of organised chaos. Debra says that they’ll spend all their time training. Diamond says that they can call her Grandma. Debra is agitated.

Dr Misty runs through her act for Sam Ollier. She starts with singing Happy Birthday. Sam says that it may be someone’s birthday.  He doesn’t think that their crowd will care for the modern stuff, like her version of Tainted Love. She says that maybe she’ll follow with a duet. Sam tells her that he thought he told her that those days ware behind them. But maybe we can try something out. Dr Misty says that ere’s always room on her single bed for him. They start off with singing Happy Birthday.

Bronc needs some legal advice from Angel Delores. Remember when there was that wedding party that all crowded in the gondola? Angel said that they  ended up in the spot tub afterwards. Bronc wonders why he wasn’t invited. Next time… Bronc says that someone fell off of the gondola and it’s his job to secure the gondola. Don called him and he’s going to lawyer up. Angel is Don’s lawyer and his advice to Bronc is beware. He tells Bronc that he’s responsible, but it’s never his fault.

Don and Debra have a silent argument. Diamond interrupts. Don asks her what his grandson’s name is. It’s a test. He needs to speak with Don Jr. Can you go get him? Don tells Debra that her poor choice of husband has nothing to do with things between them. He’s not family and Don doesn’t like that he’s putting so much on her shoulders. Debra tells him that the sounds he’s hearing is her heart breaking. She’s always been a winner, but nothing is ever good enough for her daddy. Give Dennis a chance! He’s made of… skin. He’ll give him a chance, but he won’t tell him what he needs to do to impress him. Can she tell him one thing about his cougar? Beware…

Dennis and his son are training. What happened when he bumped his shin. Walk it off? No, you cried. He collected his frozen tears and tells him to put them back inside. Don tells his son that he doesn’t like his Grandpa. Jr tells him to suck it up and eat his tears. How does that feel? Like resilience. He tells his son that he is made of something more than salt and potassium. Dad, how do you know when you’re been your best self and not doing something for your family? Ah, a hypothetical situation. He sees victory in Jr’s future. He sees his dreams coming true. Junior corrects him that he sees someone’s dreams. He sees gold medals around his neck. Like a noose? There is only room for one dream in their family. Their daughter got famous without any support from them.

Bethany Bland has walked away from the chalet to have some me time. It’s nice to get a break from her 15-17 hour days. She is interrupted by Sam and Dr Misty. Bethany didn’t think that they could afford a doctor. She works pro bono. Dr Misty doesn’t recognise Bethany from TV. They sing the theme song from her TV show. Bethany takes it personally that she doesn’t recognise her. Is it a kid’s show? That pushes Bethany over the edge. She’s not a child actor. The sitcom is the top of there entertainment pyramid. She doesn’t feel well. Dr Misty offers her services, but she doesn’t think she can trust someone that hasn’t see her show. She makes $46,000 an episode! Dr Misty apologies. Bethany says to make it up to her, they can watch all 13 seasons in the lounge. And if you like it, tell me mom and dad.

Angel and Diamond are happy to see each pother again. She’s a grandma now! Wow, you’ve been busy! And she’s the tops in ski ballet. The sport will be around forever! She asks Bronc who he is. He reminds her that they went to high school together. He asked her to the prom. Now I remember! Brock! Close enough. He leaves. Angel tell her that Bronc does a lot if assisting. Angel asks if she has a trainer. Yes, they’ll be flying out later. But she needs to be true to her vision. He tells her that Don is lawyering up and blaming things on Bronc. She needs to be careful. Someone could trip and fall. Me, or my husband? He has back, front and sides, if something happens to Don.

Act II

Bethany, Dr Misty and Sam clap at the end of Season 12. Dr Misty gushes. She’s so impressed! Sam was confused how in one episode she said that she couldn’t drive but them she drove a coup[le of episodes later. Debra enters and asks what everyone is doing. Dr MIsty says that she and Sam have something sexual to do and leave. Debra says that maybe Bethany should think about getting a more permanent job. She’s seen some articles about Bethany. She could have mentioned her brother more. Bethany asks her mom to come to see her when they film the 14 season this year They might have a day they can come to visit. Bethany just wants her mom to tell her that she’s proud of her. When have I not said that she was proud of her?

Dennis Jr stretches before his training session. Don asks how that can help his skiing. He’s seen his grandson see, and no amount of stretching is going to help. His dad says that skiing is themes important thing on earth. No, you are, Junior. He sees that his grandson could be the future of the mountain. His father has him living his own dreams. You need to quit listening to him. If he can do that, the mountain could be his one day. Don tells Dennis Jr how he sees the future.nSam steps outside of the lodge! HE TOUCHES THE SNOW! Diamond and Angel ski together. Junior thinks that they look a little chummy. Maybe it’s foreshadowing, I don’t know. But the only thing standing between you and that is your dad. He says that he doesn’t think he’s read for that. Well, it’s not going to happen tomorrow. You’re 99. It could happen.

Cody has overheard everything Angel and Diamond said, and runs into Rocky (Dennis Sr). He says that it’s been great having him and his family here. He has some information, but he’s also in a precarious position. As he starts to explain, Angel and Diamond approach. They hide and he tells how they are conspiring. He asks if Rocky is oil Don’s will. Diamond tells Angel about her idea to make ski dancing like ice dancing. They join Rocky and Bronc. She gets Bronc’s name wrong. She says that he must be so embarrassed. Rocky tells Diamond about how Bronc was a wrestling champion. He could have wrestled a bear, but he didn’t have a chance. They try to figure out how they’re all related.

Dennis Jr (Chet) bonds with his grandpa when they are joined by Debra. She says that Chet needs to get to his training. What are you doing? You said to give your family a chance, and there you step in the way. You run your family your way. Chet has had enough! Debra burst into tears. Rocky comes in. He heard the tears of a loved one. Debra tell him that this is his chance to make a bridge over their wall. Rocky says that they are a family made of love and matching jackets. It’s affection, something that Don doesn’t know anything about. Bethany comes in and complained that they’re talking about the jackets again. Rocky says that he told her that they were 3 for 1. Don pulls Bethany aside. He’s impressed with her show. He hasn’t laughed like that since his second wife. Rocky gets in a competition with Don naming episode s of her show. You’ve seen my show? Yes, but Rocky felt like he was cheating on her brother. Era doesn’t known what they are talking about.

Dr Misty and Sam talk after their romp. He banged her harder than Phil Collins. They tell each other they love them. Dr Misty gets all misty, and that’s her name! Are we taking this to the next level? They say what that is on a count of three, but they are interrupted by Bronc. They welcome him in, buy he thinks that he’s imposing. Sam goes to get refreshments, and Dr Misty reminds him that he’s not supposed to be around her. Maybe there’s something that she can say to lift his sports. I don’t know what’s going to happen. She uses her stethoscope on his head and gasps, but Sam returns. He guesses that the artichoke hearts aren’t the only thing that is broken. He throws him to the floor and runs out crying. Bronc thinks that they’re still good. Dr Misty heard some horrible things in his head. And that he still cares for someone in the room. One thing Bronc learned that when you hold onto something too tight, that thing is going to break. I hope that doesn’t happen, and hopes that she and Sam make up. He tells her that Angel and Diamond are plotting to kill Don.