Solar Eclipse of the Heart

Episode 1 - April 8, 2024

Donna Edwards - the best wife, the best mother - Stephanie Wolfe
Lindsay Edwards - her executive husband - Peter Brown
Debbie Edwards - their misunderstood daughter - Ellie Heath
Peter Edwards - Bowling alley owner - Tom Edwards
Thomas Edwards - ice cream shop owner - Lindsey Walker
Perry Scissorins III - neighbourhood pharmacist -Randy Brososky
Edwarda Scissorins - his wife, local hairdresser - Caley Sulak
Rusty Scissorins - Perry’s evil twin brother - Randy Brososky
Fritz Überalles - German immigrant - Cody Porter
Hildegard Überalles - his wife-  Jason Hardwick
Mark Carleton - Donna’s brother, the milkman - Joel Taras

Director: Jake Tkaczyk
Music: Paul Morgan Donald
Technical Magic: Olivia Bogaard
Synopsis: Jim Cej
Producer: Nicole Thibault

Act I

In the town square, everyone is excited about the upcoming one year anniversary of Magnolia Crescent. Thomas happens to have some ice cream to share. He’s not looking for anything in return, but Donna offers him a smoke anyway. Lindsay gives him $14! That’s like a year’s salary or Debbie’s tuition. Debbie works for Thomas, so she can earn her tuition back. Perry has barbiturates for everyone! Donna announces that she’s going to have a Miss Magnolia pageant at the block party. Everyone can enter!

Hildegard is so proud of how far her husband Fritz has advanced to school principal. He shows her the new dance all the kids are doing. The moves! She is shocked, she is so pure! Donna comes over and gives them a loaf of bread that she baked. She is Hildegard’s best friend. Fritz says that these Americans only eat white bread and fried food. They miss the schnitzel from back home and share their commitment to each other. They’ll make their home an uberhome.

The Edwards brothers talk business. Lindsay can’t understand why Thomas was giving away free ice cream. They will come back and buy some next time. The brothers all work out a deal that will benefit them all. Lindsay thinks that they are growing apart. That’s why Thomas invited him down. He tells his brother that he doesn’t think Donna is good for him. Lindsay says that Thomas has been distant since his wedding, 16 years ago.

Perry is so proud of how his wife Edwarda had moved past her troubled high school past. He plays some romantic music for her. No one has done that for her since Rusty. Poor Rusty, It’s been years since he died. The doorbell rings, and Mark is surprised when Perry answers the door. Edwards fakes a phone call to distract Perry. It’s a milk emergency! Mark rushes out. Perry is suspicious. Why does the dairy have our phone number?

Donna preps her daughter to win the Miss Magnolia pageant. She shows Debbie how to walk. It’s not a walk, it’s more of a sermon. Donna is suspicious of how her daughter moves her hips. Have you been listening to that rock and roll music? Debbie confesses that she heard it down at the gas station and it made her feel like she had to move. Donna slaps Debbie to calm her down, but it’s Donna that needs to calm down. For punishment, Debbie has to stay outside and think about what she’s done.

Hildegard is talking to Thomas about what kind of ice cream would be good for a dinner party. He’s thinking of branching out into ice cream furniture, but he has a new flavour for her to try. Thomas asks her what she tastes. Hildegard can taste peanut butter in it. Thomas says that the ice cream has everything single dessert on it and she is the first one to try it. You’re open to constructive criticism, right? The crumb cake is too… She doesn’t know the English word for it. Don’t take it too hard. It was good otherwise. Thomas tosses out the ice cream. Hildegard says in America, everyone can start over again. Thomas thinks that all he ever does is start over. He may have nothing, but that means that he has nothing to lose. You were at the bottom, but you got a shovel and dug down further. Thinking that way, Thomas feels liberated. What’s the first thing you are going to do. Fly a plane! He’s never even been in an airplane before.

Perry and Fritz go bowling. What name do you want to put down, Perry? Do you want to use a funny name? Perry asks Fritz how often the milkman visits his house. We go through about 7 bottles a day. Does the milkman come right into your house? We have an open relationship with our neighbours. Fritz thinks that Perry’s a little uptight. Fritz tells him how wonderful America seems to him. But if you look for dark clouds, that’s what you’re going to find. What if it goes dark in the middle of the day? Perry’s trying to wrap his mind around what he thinks is happening at home.

Edwarda waits for a delivery. When Marks enters, he goes over their signal for when her husband is at home. Mark can only afford a 3 story home an a part time milkman’s salary. He wants to get that promotion and deliver that premium milk by airplane. He’s been delivering fake milk to everyone. Everyone except her, of course.

Everyone waves good night to everyone else across the crescent at 7:00pm, like every other night. Mark leaves and says that he’ll see half of them later! Donna thinks that he means that her brother is going blind. Perry says that he doesn’t think that Mark’s going blind. He thinks that he is messing around. Edwarda reveals that Mark has been delivering bad milk to everyone. That’s why he’s delivering every day. Donna and Lindsay argue about her brother.

Act II

Thomas teaches his niece Debbie how to scoop ice cream. It’s hard for him to give up that part of the job. She is honoured, and has been waiting 3 summers for this. He know that she has something special in her since she asked for a job. If she doesn’t do it right , he won’t be happy. He’ll make her sit outside on a bench like her mother. They do his daily warm up, including screaming into the void. People start to wander in, and Debbie gets some on the job training. She is not a natural.

Perry and Mark are in her living room. He’d love a glass of ice cold post-coital milk. Donna spies on them. The doorbell rings and when she answers it, it’s Perry. He’s caught Mark! Mark leaves, and it soon becomes apparent that it’s Rusty, not Perry. He’s come back for her. He can’t believe that she ran to his brother when she thought Rusty was dead. Perry was the path to the straight and narrow. She says that he’s square. He’s all straight and narrow. Rusty wants to get back to the town. He’ll mimic Perry and take his place.

Debbie is in her bedroom with her radio. She plays the rock and roll station. She wants to live the rock and roll lifestyle that the deejays talk about.

Hildegard is vacuuming the living room when the doorbell rings. Debbie has some German rye bread for them. She stays to visit and asks them for some advice. She knows that their children are away at youth camp, but she needs some advice. Debbie is listening to that rock and roll music. Have you tried to cure her? Yes, but it didn’t help. Maybe she can punish her with her diet. Hildegard knows just the recipe. Just take the lard and some flour. Donna tries a bite. She eats the rest right out of Hildegard’s pan.

Lindsay and Peter are in the bowling alley after hours. They bring out a microphone. They’re the hosts of the rock and roll radio show! They run the pirate radio show out of the bowling alley.

Hildegard and Fritz help an intoxicated Donna home. So many carbs! She couldn’t get enough of their flour and lard. The suggested serving in a spoonful, but she ate a panful. Fritz takes Donna upstairs, leaving Hildegard and Debbie alone. She has heard Debbie howling into the night. Do you know what happens to girls that don’t listen to their mothers? They get sent far away. They don’t even get to see their families for Christmas. Debbie asks how she can sign up. This is a turn that Hildegard did not expect. Mark bursts in and says that he has something to tell them about the milk. They’ve been drinking fake… He sees that Hildegard is there …water. You have something to tell us about the milk, and that is that there is fake water? She slaps his face.

Rusty and Edwarda visit Thomas in his ice cream store. He wants to try some of his ice cream. Debbie has his scoop, but she’s in a time out. Rusty thinks that his ice cream is boring. Meanwhile, Fritz sits with Debbie. He tells her that her mother loves her very much. She will eventually recover from the lard and flour. He tells her that he has been around the world, and are things that are worse than rock and roll. Like badgers. Thomas mixes some ice cream that a bad boy would like. Debbie tells Fritz that she’s been practicing walking for the pageant, but she just wants to gyrate. Donna sneaks down and watches them. Rusty and Edwarda are all over each other after sampling Thomas’s ice cream. Debbie asks Fritz to teach her how to make lard and flour. It makes her mother happier than she’s ever seen her.

It’s 1:00am and Donna is in her living room waiting for Lindsay to come home. He asks if she wants to talk about their argument before. She can tell that he’s not happy. He took a long walk tonight, that’s all he did. He wants to tell her that he’s sorry., and he got her something. Four years ago, Donna said that she wanted an iron. He bought her one! Every crisp shirt that he wears, he will think of her. Hildegard rings the doorbell. She couldn’t sleep, so she made a jello mold. She saw their lights were on, so she brought it over. Donna shows her the iron Lindsay bought her. There was another light on, at Mrs Montgomery’s house across the street. No one has ever seen her outside. They say that she has been living there for 13 months. How is that possible? The phone rings. It is Mrs Montgomery. Hildegard tells her that she is allowed to go out whenever she wants. Mrs Montgomery knows their secret. She wants money. She laughs.

All Photos by: Janna Hove