Open Your Mouth and Jim Cej Ahh…
(Episode 7)
River City Staff
Jaqueline Walsh, PHD (Head Administrator): Stephanie Wolfe
Philadelphia Jones (Chief Resident):
Rebecca Bissonnette
Phyllis Jones (Pharmacist):
Delia Barnett
Doug (The Custodian):
Kristi Hansen
Katie Cross (Hospital Parishioner):
Rebecca Merkley
Dr. Damian Mallet (General Surgeon):
Tom Edwards
Susan Wilson (Malpractice Lawyer):
Kirsten Throndson
Dr. Anita Brah (Surgeon):
Kalyn Miles
Nurse Lillian Hope (Nurse):
Jason Hardwick
Dr. Patrick Chathams (Pediatrician):
Vincent Forcier
Dr. Justin Justice (cardiologist):
Mike Cox
Dr. Seattle Frasier (Definitely a Psychiatrist):
Gordie Lucius
Dr. Jason Quesnell (Totally a Doctor):
Jesse Gervais
Sam St. James (Slick Political Consultant):
Christine DeWitt
Nurse Meredith Grace (Nurse):
Nikki Hulowski
Dr. Denny Tures (Dentist):
Kelly Turner
Rachel Rosenbaum (Pregnant Mother)
Ashley Botting
Joel Rosenbaum (Pregnant Father):
Ron Pederson
Expertly Crafted Synopsis Writer:
Jim Cej
Die-Nasty Photographer :
Janna Hove
Act 1
Doug sits in a coma, comatose. He is examined by Dr Damian Mallet.somethings strange happens when then touch, but all Doug can say is “Coma.” Is there something inside him. Doug sings that he remembers when he was a young boy. Damien wonders at the damage that the blood monster wrought. His pulse is superhuman! Doug remembers his mother. Damien give him a drink and Doug is revived! He can see his mother, calling him over. No! He will not go! He will stay and saves the hospital.
Jacqueline Walsh is prepared to move the hospital into the future. She calls in Susan. They’ve got to get on it and get on it now. Susan wants new watertight contracts for everyone. Susan asks if she can play with the terms of the contracts. We can’t give everyone everything they want, but we can give them a tiny bit of what they want. Jacqueline stresses that she wants to be Premier. Put that somewhere in there.
Sam St James frolics in the carnage of the blood room when Susan enters with her contracts. Sam is still attracted to Susan, who asks what he absolutely must have in the contract. A blood oath from Susan. She asks how it works. There’s a love portion, chanting, endless devotion, robes… It’s definitely not a cult.
Denny Tures is dulling down his dental instruments when he is interrupted by Susan. Denny coerces Susan into him chair. He tries to start an examination, but Susan has a purpose. What does Denny need to have him stay at the hospital? Double my salary! Only if you agree to stay here the next 3-5 years.
Meredith Grace is on the phone with her sister’s former fiance, Dr Patrick Chathams. She impersonates Lillian, and says that she doesn’t love him any move. She hates him. He’s the worst person in the world. In the hospital! Lillian approaches her from behind and hears everything she has said. When Meredith hangs up, Lillian asks who she was talking to on the phone. Her Spiderman loving pediatrician of a fiancé. Are you surprised? Did Lillian think that she could leave her alone? We’re supposed to do everything together! We were supposed to have children together! Lillian had a child! It died, and where were you Meredith? Lillian storms off, with Meredith following. “I love you, you bitch.”
Rachel Rosenbaum visits Dr Frasier Seattle in his office. She was hoping that he had a minute to talk about her psyche. She is messed up in her head. They keep getting interrupted by the phone. She doesn’t want to be a mother. Is that normal? She asks Seattle if he misses her. Well, yes and no. He misses her garish laugh. But he doesn’t miss the secrecy. He has so many secrets to keep! She’s normal. It’s him. He’s a liar! You know that I’m not a real doctor. Well, I’m a fake mother. Maybe we should just burn it down and disappear without a trace. They sing that they will Burn it All Down.
Jacqueline, Sam, and Denny are in the office to go over their final plans. Susan has all the signed contracts. Jaqueline will be working part time for Danielle Smith. Susan isn’t good at math. Doubling, that means cut in half, right? Susan has gotten a restraining order against Sam. Jacqueline wants to know why she has humiliate them Susan spent her entire time tat the hospital going over files. Do you know how many sponges were left in patients? They paid out 11 million dollars in damages! She’s done! Susan needs power! Remember last week when you all lifted me up? It felt really good for one reason only. They were paying attention to her! Dr Denny Tures gives her an injection and Susan loses consciousness.
Act 2
Susan is another resident of Coma Town, where she runs into Doug. They explore their new surroundings. Susan can’t feel anything. Am I dead? Doug hears her mother, now with a German accent. Susan’s mother wanted her to be something useful, not an artist.
Dr Damian goes to see the worst person possible for psychiatric help, Sr Seattle Frasier, who is researching ways to burn down the hospital. Is there a weakness in Damian that needs fixing? He dreams about Spongebob Squarepants inside of him. Has he hit Bikini Bottom? Damian is in love with three woman. Seattle shows him a picture of two breasts. What do you see? I see a monster, judging me! He writes him a prescription for his mother issues. We have heard so much about mothers this week, they sing a song about mothers. The cast sing about their complex relationships with their mothers and for Rachel Rosenbaum, with her child.
Rachel Rosenbaum runs toward the exit, when she runs into Lillian Hope, who is also running. Rachel looks less childy this week. Yes, she gave birth to 4 babies from 3 fathers. They share that they were both known for their beauty and tits. What do they have now? Rachel wonders if there is any solution other than running. Meredith calls out, looking for her sister. Lillian asks if she has ever wanted to kill someone? If she never saw her sister again, she’s be so happy. What if we stopped running? Lillian has spent a lot of time around surgeons. She knows how to cut and chop…
Damian has a breakthrough with Dr Seattle. He know what he must do now! He can hear the voice of his mother talking to him. You’re such a disappointment. Why can’t he be a doctor like his brother? Seattle thinks that she sounds like his Filipino mother. Doug and Susan have come out of their comas. They’re alive! Damian needs to get out of the hospital. He always wanted to host a travelogue… Susan has to get the staff together and they need to set the record straight. They cannot be pushed around. Seattle tells Damian not to let his mother push him around anymore. Go to Manila! When he comes back, maybe the hospital won’t be here! Just a hunch. He can go around, rating hospitals around the world.
Jaqueline, Sam, and Denny divide up the hospital. They argue about who will get what, when they are interrupted by Meredith. She has nothing left to lose. It’s hard for her to say, but she’d like to join their team. Meredith says that they need a leader to run things. Jacqueline says that’s what she does! Meredith stabs her in the neck.
Jacqueline is alive in a hospital bed, and she’s pissed off. Doug and Susan tell her that the tables have turned. Susan stands over Jacqueline. She is in the position to commit a crime… Jacqueline calls Susan a coward, so she beats upon her for all the wrongs she has done. Doug is troubled by her conscience and stops Susan. Doug goes to the injured Jacqueline. She was stabbed in the neck and Susan was going to finish the job, but Doug intervened. Who’s in charge now? Meredith steps forward. She is. Now Lillian is stuck with her for life!