River City Staff
Jaqueline Walsh, PHD (Head Administrator): Stephanie Wolfe
Philadelphia Jones (Chief Resident):
Rebecca Bissonnette
Phyllis Jones (Pharmacist):
Delia Barnett
Doug (The Custodian):
Kristi Hansen
Katie Cross (Hospital Parishioner):
Rebecca Merkley
Dr. Damian Mallet (General Surgeon):
Tom Edwards
Susan Wilson (Malpractice Lawyer):
Kirsten Throndson
Dr. Anita Brah (Surgeon):
Kalyn Miles
Nurse Lillian Hope (Nurse):
Jason Hardwick
Dr. Patrick Chathams (Pediatrician):
Vincent Forcier
Dr. Justin Justice (cardiologist):
Mike Cox
Dr. Seattle Frasier (Definitely a Psychiatrist):
Gordie Lucius
Dr. Jason Quesnell (Totally a Doctor):
Jesse Gervais
Expertly Crafted Synopsis Writer:
Jim Cej
Die-Nasty Photographer :
Janna Hove
Code Red…May Day
(Episode 4)
Act 1
Dr Jason Quesnell is in Jacqueline Walsh’s office. They feel…something when they shake hands. He’s looking for a job after his sabbatical. He graduate mags cum laude for Yalvard. He has a reference from Dr Seattle Frasier. He presumes that he’ll be on staff. Jacqueline ponders. “You’re hired.”
Nurse Hope runs to her brother Dr Justin Justice in the blood room.He is so sorry that Jacqueline called off her wedding to Dr Pat Chathams. they were going to meet, but he sent a message at the last minute that he couldn’t come. He always comes, on time. Dr Justin feels him in the blood room. He tells her that he fell into the coagulator, and he hasn’t felt the same since. They sing about platelets. now Dr Justin can share the secrets of the people who donated their blood.
Doug sits in his Winnebago in the hospital parking lot. He is interrupted by Dr Philadelphia Jones. She’s been off of the tootsie pops for 2 weeks now. She made a promise to someone that she wants to keep. Doug asks if perhaps she would like to join…the union. She’d have a place in CUPE. At the end of 8 hours, they’d have to pay her time and a half. Maybe it’s time for Doug to move to a new hospital. He’s worked at River City Memorial for 38 years. He looks a lot younger. It’s the moustache.
There’s a backlog of surgeries, so the chapel is being converted into an operating room. Dr Seattle Frasier has been cleaning things up. Katie Cross apologizes for being late. she’s been feeling sick in the mornings for about two weeks. Dr Seattle asks if has happened since she had sex. Yes, are they connected? She feels uncomfortable sharing such personal things with someone that she just met. Dr Seattle has to keep it a secret. Katie feels that maybe she’s found a new friend. Oh, I get paid by the hour. Katie phoned Dr Damian, and he sounded out of breathe and kept saying yes. Dr Seattle must be doing a good job. She feels 5% better. Katie thinks that Dr Seattle looks troubled. He can tell her while she stands there, or stand there while she tells him. Have you left someone behind. Yes, my brother. He had a wife, but she left him, years ago. Gee thanks her and tells her to remember that there is no god. Katie Cross shrieks in terror.
Dr Jason Quesnell runs into Nurse Lillian Hope in the shoe department of the hospital’s Holt Renfrew store. He asks her opinion on the shoes he has on. They look a little worn in. That’s because they’re his own shoes. Dr Jason feels that he has seen her before. Was it al Kilimanjaro University? He confides in her that he’s been pretending to be a doctor. He was at the vet’s with his cat and someone asked him to neuter their dog. Ok… Things progressed from there. He doesn’t know how to get out of this. He is paged to a brain surgery. He begs her to come with him and help him out and pulls her after him.
Katie Cross is still shrieking when Doug hears her. She hides in the basement. when she reveals herself , she apologizes for invade his sanctum. He welcomes her to stay. They flirt and she asks if she can call him Daddy. Yes! He worries that they are being inappropriate. Katie says that she’s been leading people astray. Maybe it’s because she doesn’t have vacation time, or in lieu. She tells him that she is seeing someone, but she thinks that they are having other dalliances. She should listen to Daddy.
Jaqueline calls everyone together. They need to develop a strategy to get patients. Everyone will be required to become influencers on TikTok. Philadelphia says that they dance right? She does a dancer them. Dr Jason says that they could film their surgeries with cool filters. Dr Seattle says that they can give dubious medical advice and people have to guess if there are true of false. Dr Lillian says that drag queens seem very popular. They could do something g with men dressing as women. Jacqueline says that they should empower people to take care of themselves. Like giving surgery pointers. Dr Jason Quesnell asks what if they have integrity and just want to be doctors. What does she have to say about the ethical dilemma that she has placed them in. Jacqueline and Dr Jason get into a heated arguement, and are egged on to fight. They rear up to each other.
Act 2
Dr Damian Mallet and Jacqueline Walsh meet in the blood room for a “talk”. It’s one of the only rooms where they can be private together. She knows that he felt the same things when they had that time in that place before. She understands that he is already having a relationship with someone else on staff. Katie Cross. You know that she’s very progressive. She may be seeing someone else… If he wants to be her lover, he will have to make a choice. She has a lot of power. She could get him on TV. She has podcasts that she could get him on. He could have his own YouTube channel! She asks him how he knows when he is love. What does that feel like?
Dr Philadelphia Jones and Dr Seattle Frasier meet in a stairwell. She realizes that the tootsie pops gave her a sugar high, and she hasn’t found anything to replace that feeling. He tells her that it wasn’t the tootsie pops. He throws her tootsie pop down the stairwell. She runs after it and he tackles her. She may think that he’s addicted to tootsie pops, but they were like gasoline. No, she never huffed gasoline. They reach the roof. Look out there and look at that sunset. So, you want me to look at all the beautiful stuff and not jump off the building, right? Look past the trees. See the ocean? Breathe it in. Replace that sugar with something that’s free and calming. Give me your tootsie pops. Not yet.
By audience draw, Katie Cross and Dr Philadelphia Jones have a scene together. Katie tells her that she hasn’t been feeling very well. Dr Philadelphia has a week of obstetrics and exams her. It hurts when the doctor touches her belly. What should they do? Katie tell her that Dr Mallet needs to be there. He needs to know. The pain comes and goes, but she thinks she can handle it. Dr Philadelphia gets her to pretend that she is Dr Mallet, and she can practice what she wants to say to him. She tells Philadelphia that she feels like she has been filled with another type of spirit. She knows that he’s responsible. But how can she be sure? There have been rumours. She was in the broom closet with Doug, but nothing happened. You can ask him yourself.
Dr Seattle and Dr Jason are happy to run into each other at The Iron Lung, the hospital bar. They order medically inspired drinks. Dr Jason says that he told someone his secret. He did brain surgery with them! It was kind of like Ghost. Or Ratatouille. Dr Seattle tells Dr Jason that he told someone that god doesn’t exist. He also developed a test and shows him a drawing and asks what he sees. You spent all day drawing dicks? They both aren’t doctors! Dr Jason thinks that Jacqueline is spying on him. There’s something going on in the hospital. Have you seen the Holt Renfrew? We have to play them all. Dr Seattle says that they are grifters. We’re not grifters, we’re DOCTORS! We have to outdoctor the doctors.
Nurse Lillian Hope is shaking the vending machine to get her item. Doug presses some buttons and it falls down. I didn’t know you had to do that first. She tells him that she loves being a nurse. Doug says if she’s sure that she loves her bunions going boom boom boom. Are you in my shows? Doug tells her about his life. He goes home and watches TV or goes for a walk and sleeps and comes back in the morning. Nurse Lillian sleeps at the hospital and eats the jello that she has to make. She trusts him because he’s so rested and so smart. The secret is UNION. Where’s that?
Dr Justin Justice looks after Katie Cross. He gives her an ultrasound. It’s so big! Are you sure that you got pregnant 2 weeks ago? Katie’s bad at math, but she’s been at the hospital for 3 months. The doctor can see that it’s twins! Katie thinks they look like him! They do an emergency C section. One baby comes out, but the other one is missing!