Act I

Jacquelins talks with her only remaining employee, Doug. She has plans to turn the hospital into a mall. She always feels like someone is going to come up behind her and stab her in the neck with a hypodermic needle. There goes Doug’s idea. The staff wants too much. When he asks what she is going to do with no staff, she tells him that she’s going to get volunteers.

Nurse Lillian Hope and Dr Pat Chathams pack up their things. Lillian just unpacked everything! Dr Pat doesn’t have a lot to pack. Lilian is going to wind up on her ass. Dr Pat comments that at least she’s well cushioned. When Pat brings up their son, Lillian reminds him that they agreed never to talk about this. He shares a little something with Lillian as a going away gift.

Dr Damien, Susan Wilson and Katie Cross are outside debating worker’s rights, until Katie’s bus arrives. Susan may be out of work, but Damien will be working as a freelance surgeon. Susan says that their contract says that any firing has to be in writing. Damien wants to get some dirt on Jacqueline. He still doesn’t know why Phyllis died. Maybe Jacqueline poisoned her?

While Doug sweeps, Dr Justin Justice plans to approach Jacqueline. He asks him what the hospital is like. She says she can’t talk to him because he’s not union. Justin says that doctors are custodians of people. Doug agrees and tells him about the hellhole that is River City Memorial Hospital.

Jacqueline has called all her laid off staff together. They each have 23 seconds to tell them why they should keep their job. They all manage to convince her to hire them back. Except for Katie Cross. Dr Pat juggles until he drops a ball. Oh look! You failed! Everyone sings the sad Charlie Brown song as he exits. Katie offers to baptize Jacqueline. She doesn’t mind trying her out one more time in the hospital mall. Nurse Lillian points out there is no one to look after the babies. There are babies here? She agrees to hire Dr Pat back.

Nurse Lillian unpacks. Again. Dr Justin approaches her to talk to her alone. He is also from Pond Town and he is who she thinks he is. He tells her that her brother didn’t die! He was kidnapped and raised in the next town over. He searched the world to find her. He is her brother!

Katie Cross studies the bible in the cafeteria. Again. Boy, what did Job ever do to God? Dr Damien joins her. She offers him some salt. They slam some tequila shots. He knows that she is angry about the privatization. They have to get a way to get rid of Jacqueline. She asks is they should have a revolution. Damien says it has to be a silent revolution. How will we tell people about it. We’ll wink. They slam more tequila as they scheme.

Jacqueline is preparing for her baptism in her office, when Nurse Lillian knocks at her door. Jacqueline asks why everyone os winking at each other. Umm… It’s impetigo. Lillian can guarantee that she won’t get it. Lillian needs some advice. She has seen Jacqueline’s name on pillars and plaques and parks. How do she separate work from the rest of her life? She has something that she wants to do, but she’s married. Jacqueline gives her advice in song. Walk away, and do what’s right. That’s a power move. Lillian says power is hope. Jacqueline asks her what makes her ticket. Lillian sings You Are Not Alone from Into the Woods.

Susan is having trouble with her standing desk. She has some forms for Dr Justice to sign. Are they personal questions ? Yes. Ah… My wrist is sore. What’s your birthdate? I’ll have to get back to you about that. What name is on his birth certificate? Umm… Where was your last place of employment? Umm… Doctors Without Borders. Botswana? That’s not an option on the form. I’ll put British Columbia. She asks where he will live. He thought he’d stay in the hospital. That’s too gross. You can stay with me. What was your income? It’s for tax purposes. $350. Susan is leery, but they go to her place.

Katie and Damien talk, and he wonders who Dr Justice is. He was hired by Jacqueline. She doesn’t know much about him.  They break into Jacqueline’s office. Katie confesses that she’s falling for Dr Damien. She’s only had one lover for years, and he doesn’t put out. They sexually rifle through Jacqueline’s files. Jacqueline appears from behind the couch and watches them. They find Dr Damian’s dismissal papers. They were signed by Danielle Smith! What should they do? They decide to make out on the couch.

Act II

It the hospital mall’s Holt Renfrew store, Dr Pat works his required shift and Dr Justin shops for some pants. There’s no dressing room, so he has to interpretive dance into his pants. When he asks about the hospital, Dr Pat feels like time stands still there. His patients are always the same age, until, well, you know… Every smile become past of your own. When Dr Justin touch Dr Pat’s chest, it feels strange, like it is going to leap out from his body.

Jacqueline is at home, giving tough love with her plants. Dr Damian spies on her. She does her baptism homework and  some couch yoga to relax. She’s so entertaining! What would she do without herself? She remembers that she has to call Danielle Smith later. She hears a ringing sound until she is told by a voice that the sound she’s hearing is her phone. Danielle Smith is calling. How is it going with you-know-who? Good, what about her and you-know-who. Danielle asks if she is getting ready for the night board meeting next week. Good luck with you-know-who. She can smell disinfectant and black scrubs. She will out Dr Damian. You can’t pretend not to be there when I’m looking right at you. What are you doing here? Do you love me? Yes?

Susan and Doug play union scrabble. She asks him what a pension is. Should she want one? You could be 55 years old. Ew. You could retire at 55 years old. Susan has been putting $20 in the bank every week. You should get help from your brothers and sisters. Wouldn’t it be nice to have someone else put money in your back account too? Doug is there because of the union. And Jacqueline loves him. With the union, you can’t get fired. Susan says that lawyers are traditionally underfunded. They are human custodians. She cleans up their shit. With paper! Doug welcomes Susan to the union.

Katie Cross practices transcendental meditation, and Nurse Lillian learns the way. Katie says that she meditates every time she sins. In the blood room. With Dr Damien. Nurse Lillian understands. She asks does it feel good? Yes, inside and out. But mostly inside. She feels that Katie has been good all her life, maybe she should be able to feel good sometime. They hear Dr Pat coming. Nurse Lillian hides and Katie welcomes him to the chapel. Katie feels so guilty and ashamed. She can tell him her problems. Can he do that? She has urges, but she’s not allowed. He gives her his clown nose. Now she has someone to talk to. She’d like to talk to her mother. Dr Pat speaks for her mother. Katie apologizes for getting her the wrong kind of blood. He asks for the nose back, as he has something to confess. He wonders if he should take care of children, or go back to the one he loves. She’s the only nurse in the hospital, so it shouldn’t be too hard to figure out who it is. Nurse Lillian reveals herself. She can’t take his nose. and she’s married. But they can be together until they get back.

Dr Justin tells Jacqueline and Dr Damian how much he likes the hospital. He would do anything to protect it. Jacqueline makes a note of that. She has heard that Dr Damian is working somewhere else too. Jacqueline asks them both to sign some forms. Dr Justin’s wrist is still bothering him, so he signs with an X when she isn’t looking. Dr Damian signs his. Dr Justin is interested in seeing the blood room that he’s heard so much about. He should have someone with him. There’s a rumour that someone got lost in the blood room and has never been found. But that’s just a story. Nothing bad ever happens in the blood room. When he goes inside with Dr Damian, they see that something is going wrong with the blood mixing machine. Dr Justin fixes it. He tells Dr Damian that he has seen the face of god.

Doug is in the lobby, recruiting people to the custodial union. She gets them all to beat their chests and chant C-U-P-E. All the present union member do the YMCA dance to CUPE. It’s harder than it sounds.

Nurse Lillian, Dr Pat, and Katie Cross again. She needs to walk away from what’s holding her back. That’s Pond Town and her husband. She’s walking forward, to Dr Pat. Katie Cross offers to marry them. Dr Pat expresses concern about a being married to 2 people. When you move from Pond City to River City, you can do anything. When Katie starts the ceremony, Jacqueline appears and objects.