Act I

Magda and Carol wonder what will happen if Lew never comes back. Magda had better be able to run real fast. Carol doesn’t like having her around. She knows everything about Magda. She has eyes and ears all over this town. Are you suggesting something Picassoesque? Carol asks if what she has heard about Magda and Hugo is true. Let’s just say that you don’t become a clue in the crossword for nothing. If you bag Hugo, you won’t need Lew’s business. Just because Magda doesn’t need something doesn’t mean she doesn’t want it. Carol raises a candlestick to Magda.

Danvers applies honey to Auralee. Auralee asks If you get covered in honey, what happens to the flies that are attracted to you? Danvers understands. Boy trouble. Danvers has been there and tells Auralee that she is the most beautiful woman in the world. Act like it.

Lew returns to find his whole office rearranged. What have they done to his floor, this faux marble monstrosity?

He sees a clue in the newspaper crossword puzzle. 5 letter word for death. Mafia? Magda! Ned Beaumont has a job for Lew. Do you want to me to spay or neuter one of your pets? Not this time. Ned Beaumont needs to find out some information. Geneva hasn’t been telling home the truth. She doesn’t trust Ned Beaumont anymore. Do you think she’s getting some on the side. No, the front and the back too. Ned Beaumont wants to find out about the poor little rich boy. Maybe there’s a spot in the mafioso for Lew.

Hugo sees Jenny Ducane at the bar. When Carl Perkins shows up, Hugo buys her a drink and wants to report a cab driver to her. He was erratic, fast and reckless. He describes his ride to her, in great detail. They ripped through traffic and almost took out a lady and baby carriage. It’s like he couldn’t control the cab. All of a sudden Hugo was driving! Jenny has been in his cab. Did you smell a corpse in his truck? Jenny will bring Andy in, and that’ll give her a chance to go through his trunk.

Auralee takes Geneva shopping for a wedding dress. It’s the least Auralee can do since Geneva shared a secret with her that everyone already knows, and she waited for her to get married. Geneva has to tell her something. She got secret married in an attic by Danvers. Danvers married her and they didn’t tell her?!? Auralee thinks she had better go. She wanted this to be so special for Geneva, and she didn’t think geneva could trust her.

Andy Handy gives Carol a ride. Carol says that there’s someone in the trunk. Andy has something to tell her. The place she wants to go to is very dangerous. Carol wants to drop off the person in the trunk there. Andy has a liability waiver for her to sign. Whatever happens in the cab car, stays in the cab car. Magda revives in the trunk and yells to let her out. Andy drives off, recklessly.

Geneva can’t find Orestes anywhere and goes to Lew’s office. She needs his help. He has some questions for her as well. What happened? Did Orestes get orested? She tells him about the secret wedding? Are you secret pregnant? Never ask a women that! She hasn’t seen him since the wedding night. Did you fall asleep by natural causes? What does he have to run away from? Is it because of…I CAN’T REMEMBER HIS NAME!

Lew remembers Danvers when he sees them at the bar, but he still has his name aphasia. Carl Perkins makes him his award winning cocktail. Lew has Danvers drink it. Lew asks them what’s the dish. Meanwhile, Andy talks to Magda in the trunk his car while Carol is in the bathroom. He can get her out of there, but the car let only works for the ignition. That’s why he got it for so cheap. Magda will have to use her leg strength to bust open the trunk. After filling Lew in. he has a proposal to make. Lew wants Danvers to be his eyes in Los Santos.

Lew visits Auralee. Auralee won’t let him in. He says he’s kick down the door. Don’t threaten sexy things to me! She pours her heart out to them while he entertains passing strangers. Lew come in and comments on how her alabaster skin has gotten even lighter. It’s from honey. He reveals her that he’s still married to Magda, and she’s having an affair with a newspaper magnet. Not a magnate. it’s been all over the paper Magda, Magda, Magda. Auralee thought it was mafia, mafia, mafia! She’s having an affair with her father?!? Lew blows on her neck from across the room. She turns. Lew and Auralee share a passionate kiss, 6 feet apart.

Act II

Hugo and Magda have a steamy rendezvous. Magda is all askew. You would’t believe the morning she had! Did you get attacked by wolves or something? Carol attacked her! She was in Andy’s trunk. Magda remembers that there was something else in the trunk. She was feeling around in the dark and felt something that felt like a baseball bat. How long? It smelt like Lew after a bender in the trunk. Something big is going on! Hugo said that Jenny said something smelled like a corpse in his trunk.

Lew and Carol meet in the Park. What are they going to do about Magda? The feng shui was perfect! Every last trace of himself on the office is gone. They walk, and Andy trails behind them. Carol tells Lew about hitting Magda with a candlestick. She is the source of all his problems. Carol dropped her off at her new boyfriend’s house. Lew says that if his new client finds out about Geneva and Orestes, it’ll end badly for them. Magma will be on the warpath. Carol got him into this mess, she has to help him out. He’s already killed one love of his life, and he doesn’t want o kill another.

Ned Beaumont goes to Geneva. Ned Beaumont  startles her. Ned Beaumont ’s very light on his feet, Ned Beaumont wears hush puppies. Geneva asks if Ned Beaumont has heard from Orestes. Ned Beaumont asks what she sees in him. Well, he’s handsome. And that’s all that really matters. Ned Beaumont says that there’s more than just being handsome. Ned Beaumont is handsome too, you know. Ned Beaumont is one of the pretty boys. The pigeon chorus helps New Beaumont serenade Geneva. She says that Ned Beaumont may well be now of the pretty boys, but she got secret married last week.

Carl and Carol have a lot in common. Some say maybe too much in common. Carol confides Lew is losing it. He can’t even make a knock knock joke. You know he’s ill, right? It’s his brain. It ain’t what it used to be. It’s eating itself. Carl remembers when his mother died from her brain eating itself. He’s sorry that she has to go through this. Carol comforts him. And he hasn’t seen Jenny, either! What will happen to Carol? Who is she without Lew? Jenny  see them together. Carl offers to make her a drink. No amount of rimming can make this better. Jenny exits, leaving Carl in despair.

Geneva talks to Danvers. They have a past in the paranormal. and used to run seance classes. When Geneva said that he was missing, they got tingles. They begin the chant to see if Orestes will come. A voice calls his name. Danvers still has it! Orestes takes over Danvers’ body. Geneva needs to be very concerned about Orestes. The last time she saw him was after the wedding. Danvers says that she needs to be careful because she married someone that she shouldn’t have. So keep an eye on your back.

The pigeon chorus dishes about the people they’ve been interacting with. They could pick out their eyes. Lew feeds them in the park. Let’s not kill that one. Maybe there’s something they can do to help him. Maybe they could all join together inside a human skin. Lew sees a message written out in the bird seed. Get us a human corpse.

Carol monologues What Wrong With Carol. She used to sit alone in class. What’s wrong with Carol? All she wants to do is have someone to choose her. What’s wrong with Carol? If only she could meet someone on the street. What’s wrong with Carol? Andy thinks that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with Carol. What about what’s wrong with Carl?

Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to relieve. That’s not right. How much longer does Lew have? Auralee asks what happened to his office door? Magma, the lava of his life. Auralee wonders what about her? He describes her meteorologically. She thinks that she can’t do anything right. Lew tell her that she has him wrapped around her finger. Auralee wants him wrapped around her body. Mother Frogeyes appears at his door. All of her family has come to see him, but they have all disappeared. That gun again reappears and inevitably mows Mother Frogeyes down.